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This
paper is based on the talk given at an academic conference, the Study Day
'Traduire la contrainte' St. Hugh College, Oxford, 19th June 1999
Haiku Is a Way of Life
Haiku is more
than poetry. It is a way of life. At the beginning of the 20th century,
an Oxford professor of poetry, A. C. Bradley said, "In true poetry it
is impossible to express the meaning in any but its own words, or to change
the words without changing the meaning." (1) This has the
same resonance with T. S. Eliot who, when receiving a question from my
own wife when she was a school girl as to what the eyes meant in his 'The
Hollow Men poem', replied curtly to the effect that the words he had written
meant exactly what they said.
I have a theory
that if we take Bradley's remark to its logical conclusion, the popular
adage that only poets understand other poets poems is not only true but
may be an understatement. This is because, somewhere in their mental process
it is unavoidable for them to try to interpret the original poems of other
poets. Such interpretation involves changing the words, which is an equivalent
of translation, and thus changing the meaning of the original. Moreover,
poets may not necessarily understand their own poems even! Then, who indeed
can understand poems? Only the One up there, or muses?
This theory ceases
to be facetious the moment we are confronted with problems of translating
poems. Because translation of poems is further down the line of the same
mental activity which we call interpretation. There is no avoiding the
same issue of interpreting poems correctly, whether they
are written by
other poets or by oneself. If it is difficult to understand poems in one's
own language, what hope is there for one to understand poems of other
countries through translation? Thus translating haiku poems seems at first
an absolute impossibility.
Visible and Invisible Constraints
In this paper,
we will follow Bradley's dictum and look into the issues of translating
haiku in a negative way in order to see whether there will be anything
positive left, and if so, whether such positive values may lead to any
viable literary merits. We will restrict ourselves to dealing with traditional
Japanese haiku poems only and also to translating them into English. We
shall not deal with translating haiku from English into Japanese, or between
any other languages.
It is useful to
divide different constraints imposed on translating traditional Japanese
haiku (hereafter, only haiku) into English into two categories: visible
, or formal constraints and invisible, or non-formal constraints. The
former are more of technical nature, the hard-ware of haiku, if you will,
and are less difficult to overcome, while the latter are concerned with
contents, or the soft-ware of haiku, which are far more difficult to deal
with, sometimes simply impossible. Both need to be addressed properly
for good translations to become achievable. We must heed against a common
mistake that if one follows form, then one can attain the substance.
Different Versions of the
Same Haiku
Before going into
details of that analysis, let us just see the actual translation of one
particular haiku, which is arguably the most famous of all haiku poems
the world has ever produced but which is, in my opinion, one of the most
misunderstood and misleading haiku as well. It is, of course, Basho's
frog haiku.
An old
pond
A frog jumps in
-
Sound of water.
(Geoffrey Bownas and Anthony Thwaite)
This is probably
one of the most orthodox and literal translations of the haiku, a benchmark
against which other translations can be assessed. However, there are said
to be over one hundred and seventy versions of this haiku in English alone.
How different are they? Are they correct or good translations anyway?
We shall look at only a handful of them from a book(2) especially edited
to show such vast differences in the translation of the same haiku.
The old pond!
A frog jumps in
-
Sound of the water.
(Nippon Gakujutsu Shinkokai)
An ancient pond!
With a sound from
the water
Of the frog as
it plunges in. (W. G.
Aston)
The old pond,
aye! And the sound of a frog leaping into the water. (Basil Hall Chamberlain)
The old pond.
A frog jumps in
-
Plop!
(R. H. Blyth)
The ancient pond
A frog leaps in
The sound of the
water.
(Donald Keene)
The old green
pond is silent; here the hop
Of a frog plumbs
the evening stillness: plop! (Harold Stewart)
The old pond
A frog jumped in,
Kerplunk!
(Allen Ginsberg)
Breaking the silence
Of an ancient pond,
A frog jumped into
water -
A deep resonance.
(Nobuyuki Yuasa)
The quiet pond
A Frog leaps
in,
The sound of the water.
(Edward G. Seidensticker)
The old pond -
A frog leaps in,
And a splash.
(Makoto Ueda)
The still old
pond
and as a frog leaps
in it
the sound of a
splash
(Earl Miner)
Ancient pond unstirred
Into which a frog
has plunged,
A splash was heard.
(Kenneth Yasuda)
Old pond
a frog leaps in
water's sound.
(William J. Higginson)
Listen! A frog
Jumping
into the stillness
Of an ancient pond!
(Dorothy Briton)
ancient pond -
a frog jumping
into its splash
(R. Clarence Matsuo-Allard)
pond
frog
plop!
(James Kirkup)
Oh thou unrippled
pool of quietness
Upon whose shimmering
surface, like the tears
Of olden days,
a small batrachian leaps,
The while aquatic
sounds assail our ears.
(Lindley Williams Hubbell)
There once was
a curious frog
Who sat by a pond
on a log
And, to see what
resulted,
In the pond catapulted
With a water-noise
heard round the bog. (in the style of limerick)
A frog who would
a-water-sounding go
Into some obscure
algae-covered pool
had best be sure
no poetasting fool
Is waiting in the
weeds and, to his woe,
Commemorates his
pluck so all will know
His name and lineage,
not for the fine school
He learned to sing
at, nor, to make men drool
The flavor of his
leg from thigh to toe.
He will not for
his mother be remembered,
Nor for his father's
deeds, his honor bright,
Nor for his brother's
leg dismembered,
And eaten by a
king with rare delight.
He will be famous
simply for the sorta
Noise he makes
just when he hits the water.
(in the style of sonnet)
Difficulties of Translating:
the Case of the Frog Haiku
I have already
pointed out that this famous haiku by Basho was one of the most misunderstood
and misleading haiku poems. Let me try and justify such a daring and quite
possibly suicidal assertion. The following points are the main aspects
of common misunderstanding about this haiku. However, these points are
seldom heard. Probably for that reason they are relatively unknown.
- We seldom
see in Japan a single frog around a pond in the springtime. What we
normally witness is a group of frogs, sometimes even countless numbers
of them. A frog or frogs are a season word for spring. When and on
what ground did we decide that the haiku was talking about a single
frog and not a number of, or many frogs? Only three translations use
the plural frogs out of 130 or so in the book. The question of how
many frogs are involved in the haiku is a crucial point which affects
the interpretation of the haiku's mood and its main thrust.
- Frogs tend
to jump into the water all the time, one after another, or simultaneously,
or at random, in spring time. Why should it be a single splash?
- Frogs are
noisy in spring when this haiku is believed to have been composed.
They are a symbol of merriment, colour, life and bustling movements
of the springtime, which is a celebration of life on earth.
This is particularly the case in their mating time. It is the frogs'
chorus, often boisterous, that has been the main theme of haiku, bearing
this season word. Which explains why it was such an original and innovative
departure when Basho tuned his poetic sensibility into the sound of
water rather than into the croaking of the frogs. How was it, then,
that such a loquacious and busy scene was doctored and philosophised
into a symbol of stillness, loneliness and tranquillity?
- Also, frogs
have been liked by the Japanese haijin for their comic and haiku-like
(light-hearted and with a sense of humour) quality. It is known that
the first version of the jumping of frogs in Basho's haiku was "tondari"
as opposed to "tobikomu" in the final version. "Tondari" is a much
more dramatic, graphic, outlandish and comic expression and very much
more in line with the Danrin School. What this indicates is the possibility
that Basho was initially toying with the idea of a humorous, light-hearted
and even comical scene of the frog(s) jumping and splashing with joy.
It is only later that he might have turned to more modest, rustic
and serious tone. Here one detects Basho's own poetic licence. As
can be seen in Basho's other writings and poems, especially in the
"Narrow Road to the Deep North", he often changed facts into fictitious
situations for literary effect. It would not be surprising if he had
done the same in the frog haiku.
- In the meeting
of spring 1686 (1681 or 1682, according to some) at the second Basho-an
when this haiku is believed to have been created, one of Basho's disciples,
Kikaku, suggested that the first five syllables of the poem should
be yamabuki-ya (Japanese yellow rose, kerria japonica). Yamabuki had
long been used in connection with frogs in the Japanese classic poetic
tradition*. The brilliant yellow of yamabuki is another symbol of
spring. The episode suggests that there must have been a joyful feeling
among the large gathering with Basho. Therefore, the melancholic stillness
normally attributed to this haiku is either an outright mistake, or
at least an overplay, a typical example of fukayomi, or "reading
too much into haiku". Such interpretation, it has been pointed out,
could be an invention for propaganda purposes by some of Basho's followers
in order to promote the Basho school. The rejection of "yamabuki-ya"
in favour of "furuike-ya" (the old pond) is yet another example of
Basho's originality and innovative faculty, quite apart from the fact
that the former would have constituted kigasanari (season word duplication),
which probably would not have mattered at that time. Basho preferred
the "modest" old pond to the "gorgeous" yamabuki. Whatever the cause,
this interpretation of stillness has been accentuated by over-zealous
Western haiku poets to whom such interpretation suited and has permeated
the whole world as an undisputed or indisputable single interpretation.
- "Eternity",
which is also often mentioned as an attribute of this haiku, is a
different story all together. One can feel "eternity" looking at an
old pond with or without the song or splash of frogs. A single frog
making a single splash and creating a single sound in between the
silence of the infinite past and the silence of the eternal future
sounds slightly too good to be true.
- ? Some brave
commentators in Japan have even gone so far as to say that this world-famous
haiku is not that brilliant and that in fact it is rather mediocre.
I personally do not subscribe to that school of thought but the haiku
may possibly have been somewhat over-rated. The choice of the old
pond for the first five and the choice of the sound of water rather
than the singing of the frogs turned this haiku from an ordinary work
into one with eternal relevance and universal appeal. As I have already
pointed out, the greatest significance of this haiku lies in its originality
and innovative nature. It is referred to as "Shofu kaigan no ku" (the
eye-opener, or enlightenment of the Basho School) For Basho, this
haiku was like "Demoiselles d'Avignon" for Picasso. If people have
been overestimating its merit, it is largely due to the one-sided
interpretation of the "stillness" school.
- If the comments
I have made here were to be established as reasonable, the whole understanding
of haiku in the West might well have to go through a serious rethinking,
or worse still, a fundamental correction.
Part One: Visible, or Formal
Constraints
We now turn to
what I call visible constraints (or formal constraints) in translating
haiku in Japanese into English. Since the three most important rules of
traditional Japanese haiku are season words (kigo or yuki), 5-7-5 syllables
(teikei) and cutting words (kireji), let us briefly examine them first.
The traditional Japanese haiku is often referred to as "yuki-teikei" to
distinguish it from the more modern free verse haiku.
season words
(kigo)
Haiku is a nature
poetry as the Japanese have long developed a keen perception of changing
seasons. Could that perception be translated into English? The constraints
in this regard are as follows:
1. Difference of
kind: there is no tsuyu (sticky rainy season) in Britain while there is
no humid winter in Japan. Difference in seasonal events.
2. Difference
of degree: What English people feel hot temperature in summer would
be cool to the Japanese skin. What English people feel a mild winter
would be a bitter one for the average Japanese.
3. Difference
of perception: To most Japanese the moon still means a lot in their
perception of beauty and poetic sentiment. The moon is no more than
an object of scientific enquiry to many English people. The Japanese
are more emotional, sentimental while these qualities are disliked by
the British
who are more
pragmatic, unromantic and reliant on the power of reason. One man's
meat is another man's poison.
4. Difference
of priority: On the whole human affairs are more important to English
people than nature, which is subjugated to human exploitation. Nature
is an ornament to decorate man-made objects and not something to be
respected in her own right. The Japanese have helped to destroy nature
in modern times but they are still akin to nature and regard themselves
at one with nature.
These differences
tend to make the translation of Japanese haiku into English unsatisfactory,
inaccurate and even irrelevant.
5-7-5 So-called
Syllables (teikei)
There is a consensus
about the rhythm and form of Japanese haiku. As a representative argument,
we will undertake basic analysis based on the summary by Keiko Imaoka.
It has already
been established that it does not make sense to apply a feature inherent
in Japanese to a totally different language such as English. Here the
so-called Japanese 5-7-5 "syllables" are not the same thing as syllables
in English. Therefore, it is wrong to write haiku in English in 5-7-5
English syllables. Not only the quality of English syllables is different
from their Japanese cousins but also the same number of English syllables
carry much more information than in Japanese. Therefore, haiku in 5-7-5
English syllables carry too much information than their Japanese counterpart,
making the English version wordy and defying the rule of brevity in haiku.
"Onsei" is Japanese
syllables. However, in haiku "haku", or a beat=jion should be used. Haku
is the smallest unit of aural sound of daily Japanese and forms the basis
for Japanese verse. Japanese haku (beat) is very articulate, short and
distinct like staccatos, e.g. sa-ku-ra. Haku can be subdivided into phonemes
(on-so) which is just an academic concern.
Japanese vowels
are called 'bo-in'. There are five bo-in=5 vowels, a, i, u, e, and o.
There used be 8 vowels until Heian. (5 vowels , the same with Spanish,
Latin; 3 in Arabic, 11 in French, 9 in Korean) On the other hand, Japanese
consonant is called shi-in and there are 14 of them, very few compared
with other languages.
There are very
few Japanese word having only one haku (beat), e.g. tsu, su, ta, ki, etc.
Two haku (beats) is really the length which is comfortable for the Japanese.
In spoken Japanese each mora is more or less the same length-the same
is hardly true for English syllables. English also has more prominent
accents than Japanese, which really gets in the way sometimes when you
try to make the syllables match - simply put, English words are such that
you don't necessarily get rhythmical smoothness just by having five syllables.
This makes a 5-7-5 division that makes no provisions for accented and
unaccented syllables less natural for the English language. (Shimpei Yamashita)
cutting words
(kireji)
Cutting words
are certain particles of old Japanese and it is almost impossible to find
the English equivalent for the same effect, except for effective use of
such things as colons, semi-colons and caesuras.
kumatagari (enjambment)=Not
all Japanese haiku can be divided into three arts (5-7-5). Sometimes,
a word, or phrase, stretches into two parts. This is called kumatagari
and sometimes poses difficulty when translating such haiku into English.
brevity=Brevity
is the soul of wit The point is not to say as much in the [single poem]
as possible, by condensing and compacting, but perhaps to say as little
as possible that will sketch the scene! I like to think of haiku as sculpture,
where we are trying to chip away the excess material (of experience) to
reveal the clear image within. If we leave any of the 'extra' stone, the
result is less sharp and clear. (Kim Hodges)
Vagueness of Japanese=
The vague nature of Japanese leaves the translator with all sorts of possibilities
of interpretation. When putting it into English, he/she will have to choose
one option.
old Japanese (still
used extensively in haiku)=Arguably more difficult to learn than modern
Japanese.
reversed syntax=In
many instances the syntax in Japanese is the opposite to that in English.
This makes it difficult for the translator to use the original Japanese
syntax in the English version.
other word order=
English pre-positions are post-positions in Japanese. There are other
grammatical constraints (determining the subject, dropped subjects, singular/plural,
taigen-dome, tohchi-ho, etc.) which poses problems for translation.
rhyme= Rhyming
is not the main feature of haiku. It is partly because of the phonetic
properties of Japanese. Also, rhyming in haiku makes it artificial and
affected, the characteristics contrary to the spirit of haiku. To rhyme
the English versions of Japanese haiku would often give them definite
poetic form and make them "sound like" English poems. For precisely that
reason, rhyming is rather disliked in today's haiku in English.
Images=haiku relies
heavily on pictorial images. However, Japanese images are different from
those of English.
Refrain=The Japanese
refrain does not translate well into English.
Part Two: Invisible, or
Non-formal Constraints
Let us now look
at the invisible, or non-formal constraints to translating haiku in Japanese
into English. This part is more difficult to evaluate not least because
it tries to deal with the characteristics of Japanese haiku, which
are not readily visible or knowable.
hai'i (haiku spirit,
or haiku feeling)= This is arguably the most important element of Japanese
haiku, without which a haiku poem would be boring and soul-less. Originally,
'hai' was derived from a Chinese word, haikai, meaning 'comic'. This phrase
was used in "haikai no renga" (comic renga=linked verse), to distinguish
the new form of poetry from the classical and elegant form of linked verse,
called simply "renga". It was then taken up by Basho who elevated the
meaning to a more refined value. Basho's broadened definition was anti-traditional
and was characterised by freedom of rendering, search for new subjects,
language and perceptions and a refined sense of humour. Thus hai'i became
an independent aesthetic and literary value, distinct from that of waka.
However, this is the most difficult feeling to explain to non-Japanese
and to translate into their languages.
haiku no kokoro
(the soul of haiku)=Similar to hai'I, this refers to the soul, or feeling,
of haiku which permeate an individual's way of thinking, psychological
attitude to things and generally his or her way of life. The words used
in a haiku can have such soul, or feeling (not just season words) The
subjects or objects to be used in a haiku, e.g. animals, plants, flowers
or objects which evokes haiku soul.
haigon (words
having haiku feeling)=words traditionally used for haiku in Japan are
different from traditional poetry and assume characteristics peculiar
to haiku. Haigon reflect the distinct way in which the haiku poet observes
the world: an outlook with a slight twist, sense of humour, direct and
concrete. Haigon express the hai'i explained above.
yojo (lingering
echo of feeling, 'aftertaste'=the ringing sound after the bell is tolled
is often compared to the lingering echo after reading a haiku. A good
haiku often has this yojo and like a good aftertaste of fine wines give
the prolonged pleasure to the reader.
fuga no makoto
(poetic truth)=perhaps the most important of all Basho's teachings. Haiku
without fuga no makoto is shallow, bland and artificial, however cleverly
it is written. This is particularly true with modern haiku where "imagination"
and "invention" are given a place in haiku composition, which can slip
easily into false emotion and faked sensibility, lacking fuga no makoto.
However, what constitutes fuga no makoto is difficult to define, let alone
transmit into different languages.
furyu (special
taste of artistic and poetic nature)=another term impossible to translate.
It is translated as elegance, taste and refinement. However, there is
no accounting for tastes. A person with furyu is a person of a romantic
turn of mind, one of refined taste and loves art, literature, particularly
poems. He or she is somewhat removed from the mundane affairs and lives
a life of leisure, indulging in cultural pursuits and accomplishment.
wabi, sabi, karumi=One
can write a long thesis on each one of these. These are some of the most
important poetic values which Basho developed in the haikai. The meanings
of wabi (patina, rustic beauty and loneliness), sabi (melancholic sense
of beauty) and karumi (lightness) are well-documented elsewhere and do
not detain us here.
honkadori (allusion
to a classical poems)=a haiku which 'borrows' an anecdote from the old
times, which have been told in classic poems.
cultural constraints
(indigenous, local events, music, art)=especially those events, cultural
values which are 'unique' to Japan and which, therefore, have no equivalents
in other cultures.
human senses (smell,
colour, sound, tactile sense etc.)=haiku is a form of poetry which reflects
human senses strongly and make a good use of them for effect.
Summary characteristics
of haiku
Brevity, immediacy,
particularity(concreteness), directness(subject, experience, sensory directness);
concrete subjects, plainness, spontaneity & poetic naturalness, seasonal
perception, poetic sincerity, haiku-feelings, delicacy of feelings, use
of image, lyric poem, ordinary everyday occurrences and familiar objects,
common language (plain English), sense of humour but not showing off clever
wit, newness and originality, real lived experience (not faked, or imagined),
the Suchness of things, a snapshot of events in words, here and now. Maurice
Saatchi said, "The fewer the words the better advertisement becomes. No
word is the best ad"
Wabi(rustic),
sabi(patina, loneliness), karumi(lightness), shiori(thinness)
Metaphor, allusion,
sense of detachment
Buddhist elements:
the evanescence of all things, the selflessness of all elements, the
bliss of Nirvana, features of Zen.
Apparent Contradictions
of Haiku: here and ow/universality - timelessness - permanence; concrete,
specific subjects/ generality; 'surface' phenomena/ deep insight; subjective/objective;
suchness (things just as they are)/ universal truth (things as they
should be); physical/ metaphysical; metaphor/ simile; immanence/ transcendence
Summary
1 There
are considerable difficulties in translating Japanese haiku into English.
2 The difficulties
are caused partly by visible, or formal constraints but more importantly
by invisible, or non-formal constraints.
3 Therefore,
if we accept the validity of such translation, we should also accept
the limitations thereof. Some translations are better than others depending
on the subject matter, words used in the original, quite apart from
the ability of the translator.
4 Notwithstanding,
there is a scope that excellent translations of Japanese haiku into
English can sometimes be achieved. In some instances, the translations
can arguably be better than the original.
5 There are
instances of what may be termed as 'creative translation' (or, creation
itself), whereby the translator more or less rewrite the original, or
create a new poem out of it. Here, perhaps we need to define the word
'translation' applied to translation from Japanese haiku into English.
Because we should remain
within the boundary of translation for any translation to remain as such.
Two Haiku Examples to Test
the Conclusions
Let us now look
at two more haiku closely to put these conclusions to test.
Mallow Flower
Eaten by My Horse
Michi nobe no
mukuge wa uma ni kuware keri (Basho)
Donald Keene's
translation
Mallow
flower
By the side of
the road-
Devoured by my
horse.
Pp142-143, Nihon Bungaku-shi
(Japanese Literature, London, 1953)
Keene compares
this translation by himself with that by Chamberlain of the same haiku;
The mallow-flower
by the road
Was eaten by a
[passing] horse. Basil Chamberlain
and maintains that what
makes the Basho's haiku infinitely distinct is that it was the horse Basho
was riding that ate the mallow flower. Basho was riding the horse when suddenly
it notice the flower and lowered its head to eat it, a second before which
Basho had a vivid view of the beauty of it.
the moral lesson
conveyed in those few words was too obvious: - had not the mallow pressed
forward into public view, the horse would never have devoured it. Learn,
then, ambitious man, to be humble and retiring. The vulgar yearning for
fame and distinction can lead nowhither but to misery, for it contradicts
the essential principle of ethics. (Chamberlain)
Not Dying On the Journey
Last but not least,
I shall introduce a commendable attempt by an English poetess() at demonstrating
the feasibility of translating Japanese haiku into English effectively
by creating ten different English versions of a famous haiku by Basho.
The haiku in question
is:
Shini
mo senu tabine no hate yo aki no kure
(Kasshi-ginko)
The basic prose
translation runs thus:
At the
end of this journey at last,
I haven't met my
death, as I feared at the beginning;
At the end of autumn.
[1] Her
first rendering attempted to call up memories of great works in the English
literature canon.
A weary way; now,
at last, the end:
In the beginning,
fear of death, that passed away.
Autumn is ending
too.
The English reader
should recall Grey's 'Elegy' -
The ploughman
homeward plods his weary way,
also the first
words of the Gospel of St. John,
In the beginning
was the word.
And an Anglo-Saxon
lament with the refrain,
That passed away,
so will this.
Here she seems to be attempting
to make an exotic poem acceptable as English poetry by evoking accepted
masterworks.
[2] The
second version uses simple rhythm and rhyme to mark the haiku firmly as
'poetry' in a form accepted by all English people, - the four line >rhymed
verse found in nursery rhymes and hymns.
This
is journey's end at last;
I set out fearing
Death; he passed
Me by and all my
wandering's done.
And autumn's come
and gone.
This version personifies
Death, using a familiar folk-lore representation of Death as a solitary
traveller met on a lonely road.
She may have tried
out the easiest English verse form. Overall, this version is too wordy.
[3] The
third attempt uses the same easily acceptable form and emphasises Basho's
hint of self-mockery.
The
end of this long road; the journey's made
At last.
Starting, I was afraid
I might meet
Death. My foolish fear!
Wandering
and autumn's days end safely here.
[4] Her
fourth try is more concise and ambiguous. Does the end of autumn bring
cosy security or expectation of winter and old age?
The end
at last. This weary journey done,
I set out fearing
Death; he passed me by;
The end of autumn's
come.
In this version, she has
abandoned rhyme and maybe for that reason it turned out to be too much like
ordinary speech.
[5] Version
five is again a three line verse, but contains a rhyme and is more cheerful
in outlook, even mildly triumphant.
This
is journey's end at last;
I set out fearing
Death, he missed my trail;
Journey and autumn's
end are safely past.
[6] The
sixth variation is the one she herself preferred. It expressed the mood
of calm acceptance which I perceive in the poem. It also uses assonance
rather than true rhyme.
This
journey's over; all the wandering done;
Starting, I feared
to meet my death but now,
Only autumn's gone.
[7] Version
seven, very similar, contains a true rhyme (last - past) in place of the
'eye rhyme' done - gone. She feels on reading 6 and 7 aloud that 6 sounds
more 'musical' and softer.
This
is the journey's end at last.
The death I feared
at starting never came,
And not my life,
but only autumn's past.
[8] The
eighth variant follows the rules for Anglo-Saxon poetry in alliteration
and rhythm. Thus an English reader perceives the verse as a clever exercise
in archaic style which arouses interest.
The trail
travelled truly; goal reach at long last;
Death-dread at
road's head needlessly heeded.
Autumn fast fading.
She uses words
derived from Anglo-Saxon, which gives a strength and vigour to the lines.
She thinks that alliteration is still an effective device when writing
poetry in English.
[9] In
the ninth version she tries, as many translators of haiku do, to copy
the Japanese form of seventeen syllables. She feels that English words
contain too many syllables to allow nuances of meaning to be expressed
in seventeen English syllables.
End of
this long trail
Begun in fear of
death.
Alive. Autumn ends.
[10] The
last try offers an example of a pun, using the word 'remains' in two senses
in an attempt to reproduce the device of the 'hinge word' which is used
in so many haiku.
My journey
is completed, finally.
Death I feared
at starting; life remains
And the remains
of Autumn.
NOTE
(1) A. C. Bradley:
Oxford Lectures on Poetry, 1909
(2) Hiroaki Sato,
One Hundred Frogs, Weatherhill, Inc., 1995
Susumu
Takiguchi is a haiku poet and critic, artist and essayist, with various
other interests. A Japanese national, residing in the United Kingdom for
nearly thirty years, his interest in haiku began with a study of Matsuo
Basho while he was Lecturer in Japanese Language and Civilisation at Aston
University in Birmingham, England. This interest continued to grow until
now when he is engaged in the international haiku movement. The prime
example of this is the World Haiku Festival 2000 organised by him in London
and Oxford 25 - 30 August 2000. In 1998 he established the World Haiku
Club which manages the Festival and its numerous events including world-wide
haiku networks on the Internet.
He
was born in 1944 in Japan and studied at Waseda University, Tokyo and
the University of Oxford. He has had a wide-ranging career, including
financial reporter with Nihon Keizai Shimbun (Nikkei); Editor-in-Chief,
The Art Market Report; art critic and part-time lecturer at Oxford University;
lecturer at Aston University in Birmingham; Executive Director of Strategic
Planning and Research, Nomura Europe PLC. He is currently Director of
Ami-Net Oxford International and occasional lecturer at Oxford Brookes
University. He is Chairman of the World Haiku Club.
Publications
include Kyoshi - A Haiku Master (Ami-Net International Press), Ushizu
no Zaregoto (an anthology). He has also translated The Fake's Progress
by Tom Keating, Geraldine Norman, Frank Norman (Shincho-sha), Naked Came
I (the life of August Rodin) by David Weiss (Futami-Shobo), Towards The
Tamarind Trees by Anthony Trew (Hayakawa-Shobo), Modesty Blaise by Peter
O'Donnell.
© Copyright
Susumu Takiguchi, 2000
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